and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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