Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
