shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
