Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I had to cum in my sink.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
