I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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