You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You ate ashes out of my bong
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
