The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
