I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize