You made me cry and you don't even care
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize