yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
