absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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