I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
