What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
