well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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