guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
