dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
