I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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