last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
