She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
