I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize