im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
