my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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