then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
