Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
