it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the raccoons are back...
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