ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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