We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
there is glitter all over my balls
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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