So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
