my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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