She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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