we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
