I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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