I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
