i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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