I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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