Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this just has baby written all over it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
