Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
