trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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