This is not my ceiling
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
