I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
