Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
