Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
