talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
