Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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