im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
