What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
