we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
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thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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