Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
