Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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