oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am naked and annoyed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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