Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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