Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
