its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
