ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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