he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm too high and old for this...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
