No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
