I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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