Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
