I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
