dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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