Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
