i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
