im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Text me some of your sweat
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
