U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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