HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
